Talking About Others: The Brahmin’s curse

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation where someone not present is being discussed? Their flaws, mistakes, or our judgements about them become the topic of discussion. We may not call it gossip, yet many of our conversations carry this trait — speaking about someone’s negative qualities when they’re not around.

It could be about a colleague, a neighbor, or even a public figure we’ve never met. Over time, we’ve developed a habit of judging and discussing others, often without realizing it. We nod along, sometimes passively, sometimes actively. We carry these stories in our minds. Sometimes, we repeat them to others without taking care to verify the truth. Unknowingly, we become a party to the gossip and its invisible effects. 

The Brahmin’s curse

Ramana Maharshi once narrated a story about a Brahmin’s curse. While elements of the tale may lean toward the miraculous, the deeper wisdom it carries is worth reflecting on.

In Kerala, there lived a sage named Pakanar. He earned his living by weaving baskets. One day, as he sat outside his home, he heard someone chant Hare Ram. Curious, he asked his sister where the sound was coming from.

“The Brahmin who is having an illicit affair,” she replied.

Pakanar looked at her and said, “You are the hundredth person to repeat this scandal.”

Soon after, the Brahmin himself arrived. The sage greeted him warmly and said, “Your burden is lifted.”

Confused, Pakanar’s sister asked what had just happened. The sage then explained:

The Brahmin lived with his widowed daughter. They were kind-hearted and deeply devoted to serving others, especially holy men and travelers. One day, a sadhu visited their home, and as always, they welcomed him with great reverence. Before leaving, the sadhu paused and looked deeper into their lives.

With a heavy heart, he told the Brahmin, “When you die, a mountain of leeches will be waiting for you.”

Shocked, the Brahmin fell at the sadhu’s feet, pleading for guidance.

The sadhu explained: “Once, while cooking, a leech fell from the roof into your pot. No one noticed. The food, unknowingly tainted, was later served to a realized sage. Because whatever is offered to a sage multiplies a thousandfold, a mountain of leeches now awaits you in the afterlife.”

The Brahmin despaired. “Is there a way to undo this?” he asked.

The sadhu reassured him: “A false scandal will spread about you. When a hundred people have repeated it, the burden will shift — it will be carried by those who spread the gossip.”

Now, with his sister’s words, the cycle had completed. The hundredth person had spoken. The weight was lifted.

The invisible weight we carry

Even if we set aside the miraculous elements of this story, the truth it reveals is undeniable: gossip is not just harmless chatter. It carries weight. It affects those who speak it, those who hear it, and those about whom it is spoken.

It [gossip] affects those who speak it, those who hear it, and those about whom it is spoken.

The following verses of the Guru Granth Sahib carry a similar reminder:

निंदा करि करि बहु भारु उठावै बिनु मजूरी भारु पहुचावणिआ ॥

Ninda kar kar bahu bhaar uthaave bin majoori bhaar pahuchaavaniya

The one slandering others carries a heavy burden, without receiving anything in return.

दिल दरवानी जो करे दरवेसी दिलु रासि ॥

Dil darvaani jo kare darvesi dil raas

One who keeps watch over his heart, and keeps his heart pure, is a dervish

We often justify our words, believing we are acting as responsible parents, leaders, or conscious citizens. But a simple test can reveal the truth:

• Are we speaking with the intention of helping the person in question?
• Would we say these words directly to them?
• Are we willing to hear their side of the story?
• Would we take responsibility for being part of the solution?

More often than not, the conversations we engage in fail this test. And the more we indulge in them, the more they cloud our own minds, consuming our energies. Perhaps it’s time we start paying attention to what we are listening to, speaking or thinking. If it sounds like we are carrying another person’s burden, it may be time to put it down. 

References

Spiritual Stories as told by Ramana Maharshi, Sri Ramanasramam

Reflection question

Have you found a practice helpful in staying away from gossip or judgments about others?