When a step back takes you forward

Imagine this—you’re rushing to your final exam, the culmination of years of hard work and a dream in the making. As you step out of the metro station, someone pushes ahead, knocking your shoulder.

What do you do? Do you pick a fight, letting anger take over? Or do you brush it off and focus on what truly matters—getting to your exam on time?

Most likely, you’ll choose the latter. But what about the everyday moments when someone makes a sly remark about your work? When a friend or colleague says something that stings? Do you let it take over your mind and emotions, or do you pause before reacting?

Wisdom traditions offer us a powerful way to navigate these moments. Read on to find out.

The Temptation To React

Sheikh Farid Ji, a widely respected Sufi mystic, was known for his deep devotion and humility—so much so that he was lovingly called Ganj-e-Shakar (Treasure of Sugar). His wisdom transcends religious boundaries, offering guidance on how to navigate life’s challenges with grace.

One of his teachings on handling conflicts is a good reminder when we risk getting tangled in battles outside:

ਫਰੀਦਾ ਜੋ ਤੈ ਮਾਰਨਿ ਮੁਕੀਆਂ ਤਿਨਾ ਨ ਮਾਰੇ ਘੁੰਮਿ ॥
फरीदा जो तै मारनि मुकीआँ तिन्ना न मारे घुँमि ॥

Fareeda, do not turn around and strike those who strike you with their fists.

ਆਪਨੜੈ ਘਰਿ ਜਾਈਐ ਪੈਰ ਤਿਨਾ ਦੇ ਚੁੰਮਿ ॥
आपनड़ै घरि जाईऐ पैर तिन्ना दे चुँमि ॥

Kiss their feet, and return to your own home.

This is not about submission to avoid conflict. There are battles that we must fight. The real problem is that we often exhaust ourselves in battles that don’t truly matter. It’s about clarity—about knowing which battles are worth fighting. It is both tactical and strategic.

So, What Are The Battles That Matter?

The phrase ‘go back to your home’ gives us an important clue. This has its roots in the long-standing tradition of roving traders, known as ‘Vanjaaras’ or ‘Banjaaras’. While they are not as common today, they live on in the stories and poetry in this part of the world. These traders traveled across vast distances, buying and selling goods, often staying away from home for months or even years.

Wherever they found an opportunity for trade, they would set up temporary camps, creating a space for food, shelter, and community. But once the season passed, they would pack up and move to their next stop. This cycle continued—until, at last, they turned back home.

Many spiritual traditions use the metaphor of a trader’s journey to describe the journey of the soul. Much like these traders, we too are travelers. We live in communities and meet our needs of food and shelter while we are here. But that is not the purpose of our journey here.

So what is our purpose on this earth? What is our trade?

ਧਨੁ ਧਨੁ ਵਣਜੁ ਵਾਪਾਰੀਆ ਜਿਨ ਵਖਰੁ ਲਦਿਅੜਾ ਹਰਿ ਰਾਸਿ ॥

धनु धनु वणजु वापारीआ जिन वखरु लदिअड़ा हरि रासि ॥

Blessed is, blessed is the trade, (blessed are) the traders, who have loaded the merchandise of Hari (Nam)

Guru Ramdas ji

We are traders of a treasure that is not found anywhere outside. Not on the mountain, not beneath the sea. It is the treasure that resides deep within our ‘self’ – virtues like wisdom, kindness, strength, and inner peace. The purpose of our journey is to engage with the world while increasing this inner wealth. The more of this treasure we unearth within, the closer we come to discovering our true nature. And in that discovery, we find our connection with the Divine—our true home.

Remaining Focused On The Goal

What are the challenges facing the trader? The ability to make a good deal. To earn a profit and to return home at the right time.

The human life is a similar journey – of engaging in the material world, while maximizing the virtues within. The world is like a bustling marketplace—full of noise, distractions, and people competing for our attention. A wise trader must navigate this chaos without losing sight of his purpose. He must not forget why he entered the market.

Similarly, we walk through the marketplace of life, pursuing our material needs and desires. But in doing so, we must ensure that we are also growing our capital of virtue. Actions that bring material gain at the cost of our inner wealth may seem profitable now, but they are loss-making deals for the soul. They make our journey back home longer and harder.

When we are able to engage in our transactions in the world — while cultivating goodness in our thoughts, words, and actions — we take the road that leads us back home.

Choosing the Right Battles

The trader’s journey is long and uncertain. He travels across vast distances—on foot, by sea, through forests and streams. He rests in inns and guesthouses, meeting many along the way. Some offer guidance, helping him stay on course. Others lead him astray, distracting him from his purpose. Some get caught up in disputes that delay their journey, waste precious time, or leave them stranded in foreign lands.

Isn’t life the same? We can choose to engage in every argument, letting small provocations dictate our emotions. Or we can step back, remind ourselves of our purpose, and keep moving forward.

ਆਸਾ ਮਨਸਾ ਜਲਾਇ ਤੂ ਹੋਇ ਰਹੁ ਮਿਹਮਾਣੁ ॥

आसा मनसा जलाइ तू होइ रहु मिहमाणु ॥

Burn away your hopes and desires, and live like a guest in this world.

Guru Amardas ji

How do we find strength on this journey?

By making the right trades—choosing patience over anger, peace over resentment, and wisdom over impulse. By reminding ourselves daily of our true nature and purpose. By not allowing temporary distractions to make us forget where we are headed.

Is This The Absence Of Courage?

Picking your battles, and avoiding those that don’t help you in your journey is not about lack of courage. In fact, it is an essential skill for every battle. It is a call to stick to the ideals of truth, compassion, contentment and stand your ground when needed. The caveat being that the decision is made based on connecting to the divine and not out of fear, cunning or cowardice. 

As Paulo Coelho in the Manual of the Warrior of Light:

The warrior knows there is no “better” or “worse”: each has the gifts necessary for his individual journey.

But some people insist. They provoke, offend, do everything they can to irritate him…

A warrior of the light does not waste his time listening to provocations; he has a destiny to fulfill.

So, the next time temptations beckon or provocations arise, pause. Look at the horizon. Remember your Home.

Sources

• Sikh Research Institute, Radiant Traders: A Path to the Eternal
• Guru Granth Sahib, Bani of Sheikh Farid, Ang 1378
• Guru Granth Sahib, Bani of Guru Ramdas, Ang 81
• Guru Granth Sahib, Bani of Guru Amardas, Ang 646

A Reflection for Today

Have you remembered your real trade—the cultivation of inner goodness—today? Which fight did you walk away from to stay on your path?